February 2nd an epic event occurs. For the past five seasons a good number of people have been taken in by the story provided by the television show LOST. Now, as the sixth and final season prepares to begin there has been a clear paradigm set up: good versus evil.
On the one side we have Jacob, the man who gives directions to those who lead the group of inhabitants on the island. On the other we have the mysterious “Man in Black,” who finds his loophole back to the island through the deceased John Locke. The war, as we’ve been told, is coming. Strangely enough, LOST isn’t the only place we find this division of good versus evil. In fact, another battle of similar quality will take place February 7th …
The Indianapolis Colts. A franchise stolen from the city of Baltimore, its rightful home, in the middle of the night. A franchise which was failing as recently as the late 1990s, and was on its way to Los Angeles. A franchise which had fans that would not support the team … until a “savior” arrived. Why is it that I despise the Colts so much? To answer that question, one must go back to the 1990s, specifically to the 1995 season … to Jim Harbaugh.
The Colts made an improbable run that year. After over a decade of being inconsequential since being stolen from Baltimore, the Colts made a run to the AFC title game, all on the shoulders of a former Chicago Bears quarterback, Mr. Jim Harbaugh. The Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Colts in the championship game that year, and they went on to lose to the Dallas Cowboys in the Super Bowl. But what I remember about that year was that nobody cared about the Colts making that run. It was Indianapolis Pacers time, and nobody had time to pull for the Colts. Nobody cared, and that is why in the late 1990s the Irsay family was more than prepared to rob the city of Indianapolis, much as they had robbed Baltimore, by moving the Colts to Los Angeles. If L.A. hadn’t pulled out you had better believe that the city of Indianapolis would be down to just one major professional sports team right now.
But why would Irsay want to move the team again? Quite simply, the fans are not, and never have been, die hard football fans. They don’t support the team. They didn’t in the 1990s, and still weren’t in the early 2000s, even once “El Savior” Manning arrived. Now they pile into the Oil Dome (did a friend of George W. give money or something? Since when was there oil in any decent quantity in Indiana?), and they wear their blue jerseys, and they say “GO HORSE” and they pretend they give a damn. But they didn’t for the first twenty years the team was in Indianapolis, and if the current plight of the Indianapolis Pacers is any indication, they won’t care again once the team starts losing again.
You see, in the 1990s and early 2000s it was the Pacers that held the hearts of the dimwits who think Indianapolis is a “real metropolis.” The Pacers had Reggie Miller (who, many a Pacers fan swore was every bit as good as his Airness), and they seemed on the verge of winning it all a few times. Furthermore, the Pacers had another big thing going for them. They played basketball, the sport which Indiana loves. The state of Indiana couldn’t really care less about football, which is another reason for the Colts near-demise. Indiana is all about basketball, and always has been unless you live in the northernmost regions of the state, where the Golden Dome used to be king. The catch, however, is that those who lived in the shadow of the dome didn’t have anything other than Chicago to look towards for professional sports. And so the Colts didn’t matter to them, even once they were stolen.
And so the Pacers were the “it” team, and nobody wanted to watch Peyton blow another playoff game, choke away another chance to advance in the playoffs. When the Malice at the Palace occurred, the Pacers chance of amounting to anything in the immediate future was destroyed. Now, not even a decade later, the Pacers are near last in the NBA in attendance, and their owners are losing tons of money. What Colts fans don’t want to acknowledge is that within a decade, this plight will be their own as well … except, if the Pacers are any indication (and they are) no fans will be around who will care.
So, while reflecting on this past, I have come to two conclusions as to why I despise the Colts so. You see, I didn’t always feel this way. I am a Steelers fan after being a Bears fan, but I can genuinely remember cheering for the Colts to beat Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game back in the 1990s. Two things have changed:
1. Peyton Manning is as self centered an athlete as I have had the privilege of following. The man is an
exceptional tactician on the field, and has gotten over the very real inability to win the big game with
flying colors. That said, he is a pompous jerk who has made a career out of blaming his team mates for all
of his failures. Check out this article, written just after the Colts were upset by the Steelers in 2005. Or
look at this video clip of the aforementioned press conference (“I’m trying to be a good teammate here …
let’s just say we had some problems in protection”). Honestly, the man has seemingly never pointed at
himself and said “my bad.” Watch him. He’s always telling his receivers what they did wrong, and never
pointing at himself. Manning is an all time great, and if he wins next week then he will become a certain
top five all time QB, with the inside track on #2 all time behind Montana. But that will never change the
fact that he is a jerk, and most likely a horrible human being.
2. Colts fans. For one, now there are “Colts fans,” whereas in the 1990s there really weren’t very many. My friend Andy is a perfect description of most Colts fans: he just wants to root for a winning team, so he jumped on to the Colts bandwagon. But, on the flip side, Andy has something that most Colts fans don’t: He understands the game of football. He played it. He knows how it works. The VAST majority of Colts fans don’t know the game at all, and just root for the team because it’s popular to do so. I’ve seen how fair-weather they are. I watched, out of the back of my apartment in Bloomington, the year the Steelers upset the Colts. What were Colts fans doing? They were burning their Peyton Manning jerseys. I kid you not. Incidentally, one of my happiest moments as a sports fan was that day, although it is quite obvious that I celebrated too much, because with a second Colts Super Bowl in the following four years on the horizon it appears that those very Colts fans will have the last laugh. Even if they had to rush out to buy another pink Manning Jersey after burning their first one.
So it comes down to this: a self-centered jerk of a QB who is a piss-poor teammate … and a bunch of ignorant fans who are bandwagon jumpers and will move on without blinking when their team sucks again after Manning retires or gets hurt. That is why I cannot stand this team.
And now they play the New Orleans Saints in the Super Bowl. I suppose it is righteous that the Saints will come marching in to Miami. You see, the last time the Colts did this it was my team, the great Chicago Bears, that tried to slay the Indianapolis Ponies. Courtesy of Benedict Arnold Grossman (he of the TAINT which lost the game ((TAINT stands for “Touchdown After Interception))), who was robbed of Super Bowl MVP, Manning managed to back in to a championship, and has become a force of nature ever since. The Bears failed, and have spent the past three years breaking my heart and finding excuses to keep Lovie Smith on as head coach (although we can’t seem to find anyone who wants to coach with him). But, all that aside, the Saints would be my second choice out of the NFC because of one simple reason: they are good people.
I’ve seen what the team did, what the players did, for the city of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina brought so much damage and destruction down. A handful of those players even came to talk to some of our volunteers on a relief trip. Drew Brees, Sean Payton, Deuce McCallister … even Reggie Bush. They have made New Orleans their home, and they play with a fan base that knows true suffering, and even more than that, they play for a fan base that CARES. Four and a half years after Katrina, people around the country have forgotten, but this team hasn’t, and its fans never will. I’ve been there, and I know how much this will mean to them. The Colts, their fans … they could never understand what it’s like to be united with a city, to have the weight of the world on your shoulders. They would never understand.
And so, again, it is good against evil. On the one hand you have Peyton Manning and his cronies, a group that allows themselves to be badmouthed by Manning for the chance he will carry them to the promised land. On the other, the Saints, a team united by a common cause, a bond forged through tragedy, and a purpose stronger than anything Manning could ever imagine.
Even so, we also are seeing the death of football as we knew it. The Bears couldn’t win with a running game, they “had to pass” until Grossman threw it away. Even the Steelers last year had to throw to avoid being taken under by the Cardinals passing attack. In the history of the NFL you won by running the ball and by playing defense. Those two aspects, seemingly, no longer matter. The Saints and the Colts have made it this far by slinging the ball down the field, and there is no doubt that is the way this will end. Still, I have to hope that the righteous will prevail, that the Saints will manage to do what the Bears could not: force Manning into another in a long line of big game defeats. But it is starting to feel like the dark side has won the battle, and like Peyton will get the last laugh. Needless to say, it is a shame that Tom Brady’s knee went down last year, because he was the one who had held Manning back for so long. Help us New Orleans Saints … you’re our only hope.
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