......
Ok, time is up. I will give full credit for the following answer:
"Alan Grayson is the Democratic Congressman from Florida's eight district."
I will also give extra credit for any answer coming close to this:
"Alan Grayson is a loose cannon who has no concept of honor, only the concept of taking cheap shots at opponents rather than developing policy positions."
Now, a little more background:
He ran for the seat in 2006 but could not get in despite the intense ground swelling for Democrats in that year. Grayson quickly announced that 2008 would be his year instead, and on the coattails of now President Obama Grayson was swept into office. As a self-proclaimed 'center right' Democrat, Grayson has had a bit of controversy that has followed him around from place to place. As his biography page will happily tell you, Grayson is independently wealthy, the beneficiary of hard work and the American dream. He was the first President of IDT Corp., a cable/internet firm that his hard work (we're led to believe) drove from the 2nd floor of a funeral parlor* to a firm valued at over $2 billion dollars by Forbes.
*"on the 2nd floor of a funeral parlor" might also double as an apt description of Grayson's political existence if his campaign this fall is any indicator. Just saying
The good news? Grayson walked away from all of that. I'm sure he did so while renouncing his fortune, instead stating a genuine desire for the life of a public servant. Or maybe he did it, and nobody really wants to know how IDT Corp. became that rich, nor what corporate "connections" still control this man. I'm not sure anymore. Either way, Grayson went into politics with what we can assume is a substantial amount of theoretical wealth (stocks, investments, etc), and probably a whole heck of a lot of people to answer to.
Still, all of this is small bananas for the really good stuff. Grayson, in addition to being the proud owner of a biography that makes my stomach church, also happens to have the inability to have his "stupid detector" stop him from saying things which are ... well ... stupid. Among the real winners:
- Grayson on the Republican approach to health care: "the Republican health care plan is this: 'don't get sick. And if you do get sick, die quickly'" (Even if you think it's true doesn't mean it's politically savvy ... and this guy defended his statements by essentially saying "hey, what the heck, it brought in more donations for my campaign.")
- Grayson then upped the ante on health care, stating “I apologize to the dead and their families that we haven't voted sooner to end this Holocaust in America." (But, as Grayson pointed out later, he is, in fact, Jewish ... which I guess makes the whole holocaust-Republican health care plan thing ok. Oh wait. No it doesn't.)
- On people who attended a Glen Beck rally, Grayson said "These are people who were wearing sheets over their heads 25 years ago."
- Um, check out this video next:
The problem with this? Um ... it's not even remotely accurate. In fact, it's a lie. He clipped up and distorted this video clip:
After seeing this how can you not feel all good about what Alan Grayson brings to the table? If this man is willing to slice and dice a man's words to make him look like a misogynist tool, what, pray tell, would be his moral limits?
- Finally, check out this amazing article. Alan Grayson, friends, is the gift that keeps giving. In this recent bout of verbal diarrhea Grayson decides to bring Sarah Palin into the fray, and to illustrate he inability to be a politician ... because she uses Twitter. Not because of her positions. Not because he is anti-Alaskan. Not because he is against her daughter on "Dancing With The Stars." Because she uses Twitter. Check out this awesome piece of Grayson-speak:
"What is it about Sarah Palin and Twitter? Is Palin fond of tweeting because she can draft a tweet on her palm? Is it that 140 characters represents the maximum length of Sarah Palin's attention span?"
I have not seen an argument that intellectually developed since 3rd grade. I work with kids who will never be considered intelligent, but even they would listen to that and go "burn!"* In doing this, Alan Grayson managed to do something I had previously thought to be impossible: he made Sarah Palin seem like the well centered, intelligent, logical individual. All she said was that Grayson's opponent should "keep moving forward w/positive,strong,sharp message of truth! (As opposed to opponent who disgraced himself w/that ad)." Does anyone disagree with the sentiment that anyone should move forward with a positive message and not fall to the depths that Grayson did? Did Alan Grayson really just make Sarah Palin seem well-adjusted?
*For those who don't know, "burn" is a phrase the kids use to describe someone who was just made fun of. That's what Grayson tried to do here from what I can tell. Burn Palin.
So, friends, you can see by now what my central thesis is: the Democrats should not maintain this seat. Not with this guy. I don't care what his political views and motivations are any more. I just care that his actions hurt people. They hurt the process. They are disingenuous, and they aim to take full advantage of people who don't know any better. I shutter to think how many poor Floridans are walking around RIGHT NOW thinking that:
A) Dan Webster is a male-chauvinist pig
and
B) Dan Webster is actually a member of the Taliban
... all because Alan Grayson submitted himself to the lowest common denominator in politics: he who is about to get his butt kicked should sling mud ... and if you have a chance to take advantage of your constituents stupidity, you gotta do that too. Unless Dan Webster is, in fact, Osama Bin Laden I can't imagine he'd be less reprehensible. But maybe I'll break him down next just to find out, and then implore people to write in Sarah Palin.
