Happy Birthday Dave - Part Four

After a week hiatus to talk IU basketball and the (likely) end of the Tom Crean era, I'm back to my DMB top fifty. This list continues to be spurred by Dave Matthews having turned 50 this year, as well as the band taking its first full year off since they formed. As a reminder:

No covers - no matter how much I love the various cover songs that DMB plays at shows, for this list to be authentic in my opinion the songs have to belong to the band.

Unreleased tracks count - so Blue Water can make it in. 

Studio versions are important, but the live version is more important. This is a band that has flourished because of their 25 plus years of playing live. What matters is how the song plays live. 

The rareness of a song, and my search to hear it live, factors in. I'm just not really sure how. 

This list is how the songs hit me now, in January/February of 2017. I've made lists before, and this will vary from those. 

Without further delay, here are songs 30-24 (because I can randomly pick numbers to end it at!):

#30 - Drunken Soldier - from the "Away From The World" album, the ultimate track on the album starts with the band jamming a bit, Dave talking in the background, and some scat riffs. It then suddenly turns darker, bolder, and gives the listener dramatic parts of guitar, sax, and drum building up in surges. Intense and meaningful lyrics follow, and the song eventually dissipates into an ending that integrates aspects of Pink Floyd, giving the imagery of a drunken soldier reflecting on life. The first time I heard this song was in 2012 in Charlottesville, and I've heard it three times since. It quickly became my most listened to song from the album, and certainly, in my opinion, the most dynamic song on the album and best to hear live. For sentimental reasons it doesn't finish as the highest rated song from the album, but it does crack the top thirty. Given its relative youth compared with the songs that follow, that's impressive in and of itself. Lyric to consider: "Keep your head up, and try to listen to your heart. Be kind always, no matter. We all grow up; someday we'll say goodbye. So shine your light while you've got one."

#29 - Busted Stuff - the lead track off the album of the same name, this is the second song on this list that I have never heard live. Indeed, the song has only been played a total of 36 times in concert, with the last being in 2010 at the Gorge. Prior to the six 2010 plays it hadn't been played since 2003. Part of the reason I love the band is chasing after songs like this, and realizing when (if) they start to play it that it is such a rarity. Lyric to consider: "A rolling stone gathers no moss, but leaves a trail of busted stuff."

#28 - Stay - From the "Before These Crowded Streets" album, stay is an exceptional song to end a show, whether in the traditional final song before the encore spot, or the final encore slot. I heard Stay in 2006 at Tinley Park, and have heard it seven times since, including live at Wrigley Field:


Ultimately, the song invites you to stay in the moment just a bit longer, to reflect on the good times, and to cherish life. Lyric to consider: "Wasting time. Let the hours roll by for the fun. Little taste of the good life, whether right or wrong, makes us want to stay, stay, stay for awhile."

#27 - Blue Water - An unreleased song that has not been played in its' entirety since 2009 according to DMB almanac. That said, the song hasn't been played with regularity since 1993, and is sort of like the holy grail of DMB songs for me at this point. I've heard partial versions of the song three times: 2011 (Dave and Tim), and 2012 twice with the full band (Alpine Valley and Charlottesville). Here is the tease from 2011:


On the whole, the full song, which includes incredible guitar and violin solos, is dark and contemplative. Each time I hear a tease I hope it will the be time I hear the full thing. Maybe the next time. Lyric to consider: "The river taste me, I'm so much more than I have ever been."

#26 - Grey Street - One of my wife's favorite songs, this song originally had a different construction as a part of the unreleased work that ended up being "The Lillywhite Sessions." When remastered and officially released on "Busted Stuff," the song was much cleaner and contained three verses. Then, after playing the song live for awhile, the third verse was dropped, cleaning the song up further to the existing structure of two verses. The song has a ton of energy on the album, but even more when played live. Part of a three song "tribute" to a scorned lover, this is the final of those three songs. I've seen Grey Street live 17 times in total, making it one of the most played songs across the shows I've been to. Lyric to consider: "She feels like kicking out all the windows, and setting fire to this life. She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright. But all the colors mix together, to grey. And it breaks her heart."

#25 - You and Me - the ultimate song off of "Big Whiskey and the Groo Grux King," this song, in my opinion, sets up the following album, "Away From The World." It does so in as much as it lyrically involves reflecting on raising a family, growing older, and what all that will bring. It is unquestionably optimistic in tone, a tone which will be challenged in the ensuing album. I've seen You and Me 15 times since it made its' debut in 2009, making it a frequent song at shows. Lyric to consider: "Oh and when the kids are old enough we're gonna teach them to fly."

#24 - Dancing Nancies - From the first studio release, "Under The Table And Dreaming," Nancies is a classic, and a great song live. I first heard it in a Dave and Tim show in 2008 at Assembly Hall, and have heard it another twelve times since. I don't have much more to say, other than that the song is great on the album, but better live, and is a great song to dance to. Lyric to consider: "Sing and dance I'll play for you tonight, the thrill of it all. Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out."

Happy Birthday Dave - Part Three

Here we are, ready for part three of the POV breakdown of the top 50 DMB songs of all time. Again, this list was spurred by the realization that Dave Matthews turned 50 this year. The band, taking their first full year hiatus since they formed, has had a number of album hits. But they are best known for their touring prowess. As a reminder:

• No covers - no matter how much I love the various cover songs that DMB plays at shows, for this list to be authentic in my opinion the songs have to belong to the band.
• Unreleased tracks count - so Blue Water can make it in. 
• Studio versions are important, but the live version is more important. This is a band that has flourished because of their 25 plus years of playing live. What matters is how the song plays live. 
• The rareness of a song, and my search to hear it live, factors in. I'm just not really sure how. 
• This list is how the songs hit me now, in January/February of 2017. I've made lists before, and this will vary from those. 

Without further delay, here are songs 40-31 (going for ten today!) with brief comments:

#40 - #41 - Of course, I suppose I could have made #41, from the "Crash" album, as the number forty one song on this list, but that's just not how this list shook out. #41 is one of the songs I have heard the most over all my DMB shows, coming in with 17 showings. The song is a crowd favorite, although I have to admit that I will routinely use the long jam at the end as a restroom break because it is so consistent in terms of length. The first time I heard #41 live was at Assembly Hall in Bloomington at a Dave and Tim show. I have heard the song at least once per year since, including during shows that became live releases at Wrigley Field and at John Paul Jones in Charlottesville. Overall, 15 full band plays and 2 Dave and Tim plays, and I'm pretty confident I'll hear it again this year at a Dave and Tim show this summer. Lyric to consider: "Why won't you run in the rain and play? Let the tears splash all over you."

#39 - The Space Between - From the much maligned "Everyday" album, I wasn't a huge fan of this song overall, and it certainly wouldn't have cracked a historical top fifty list. Then I heard it live, for the first time, at Alpine Valley in 2012. It was in position 22, with was the encore one spot. Dave and his guitar. A solo rendition. And I've been in love with the song ever since. So much so that I'm going to offer it up here for you to listen to if you should so choose:


Long story short, that night won me over on this song and it is steadily climbing up the ranks. I've seen it performed three additional times since, including last year at the 25th anniversary show in Charlottesville. Lyric to consider: "Look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller-coaster. You know you went off like the devil in the church in the middle of a crowded room. All I can do my love is hope we don't take this ship down."

#38 - Steady As We Go - from an even more maligned album (at least in my opinion), Steady As We Go is one of the few highlights from the "Stand Up" album. Steady As We Go has a unique place on this list as the first song that I have not yet heard live. Hard to believe, after 42 shows, that there is any song I haven't heard, right? That's a part of what makes this band so special, and what keeps me going back for more. This song wasn't played from 2006 on, with the lone exception of the band busting it out at The Gorge in 2014. In DMB terms, that removed the song from exile. Beyond chasing after the song, it has some personal meaning to me. Lyric to consider: "Troubles, they may come and go, but good times be the gold. So if the road gets rocky, girl, just steady as we go."

#37 - So Right - Another song from a not so popular album ("Everyday" again), So Right has a driving energy and is great live. It also happens to be the song that my wife and I exited down the aisle to at our wedding. I've heard this song five times live, including a first appearance in 2012 in Noblesville. The best time was in 2013, on our honeymoon, at The Gorge, when the band played not only this song, but also every other song from the band that we had in our wedding in any way, shape or form, including some pretty rare ones. Lyric to consider: "Stay up and make some memories here with us now. To roll red carpet out out with friends, to love and roll on."

#36 - The Idea of You - Unreleased, this song is a beast live, and is one that I hope will get the album treatment at some point in the future. I heard this song for the first time in 2006 at Tinley Park, and then not again until 2011 at the Chicago Caravan. There have been two additional shows that I've heard this at: 2013 at Noblesville and 2016 at Alpine Valley. Here it is, from that last show:


Overall, just a great song with a ton of energy. Interestingly enough, with this song not being an official release it doesn't have settled on "main lyrics" according to DMB Almanac. Lyric to consider: "I stumble, fall in front of you and all your cool friends. Oh you pick me up you brush me off. I grin, but all I wanna do is disappear."

#35 - Everyday - from the album of the same name, this song appeared in our wedding as a surprise when our pastor started singing it in the middle of his sermon. "That's love, right?" he asked after breaking into the song. I've heard Everyday live ten times, including seven times prior to our wedding. Needless to say, it took on a different meaning after that day. Lyric to consider: "All you need is, all you want is, all you need is love."

#34 - Corn Bread - my wife's favorite song, this unreleased track is high energy and a lot of fun live. I've heard Corn Bread a total of 14 times, the most of any unreleased song. The first time I heard it live was in 2007 at Noblesville, with the most recent being 2014 in Noblesville again. The first show my wife and I went to, in 2011, was a Dave and Tim show. Naturally, they played Corn Bread. They've played it another seven times since, and that hasn't stopped her from clamoring for it every time. Lyric to consider: "The joy is steeped with sin."

#33 - Snow Outside - from the most recent studio album, "Away From The World," this track makes me go to a peaceful place to reflect on life and the future. I've heard it three times, including this show in Charlottesville, VA, in 2012:


That show was the only show that we have had tickets to the pit for (the area right in front of the stage that is standing room only. We ended up on the second "row," right off the rail, halfway between Dave and Boyd. A good song, an amazing show. Lyric to consider: "Come winter I will build you a fire from the bones of who I used to be, before you came and washed the weary away, before you came here for me."

#32 - Broken Things - a second straight song off of "Away From The World," I've only heard this song twice live. The first time, in 2012 was in Charlottesville. The second time came the next year at Noblesville. Overall that is a disappointment, because I thought that this was one of the better songs of the album. It is the first track on the album, and sets the tone for all the songs that are to come in terms of the outlook and perspective the band is sharing. Lyric to consider: "Well, how could we know our lives would be so full of these beautifully broken things?"

#31 - Alligator Pie - This song used to rank quite a bit higher on my list, but has dropped down the list a bit. My emotional ties to the song are strong, related to how much time I spent on the Gulf Coast following Hurricane Katrina, which this song is about. This song has a rare distinction as a rare song that I heard back to back nights at the same location (2009 in Noblesville). Typically the band does not play the same song on concurrent nights of multi-night stays but they did that night. I've heard the song twice since then (2011 during the caravans for both). I'd be happy to hear it again. Lyric to consider: "the devil broke the levee and left us here to die."

Happy Birthday Dave - Part One

Dave Matthews turned 50 on January 9th. The AARP trolled him with a fake cover. And I felt much older than I am, while simultaneously thinking "oh crap, they won't tour forever, I have to see DMB every chance I get from here on out!!!!" And then I realized that while my wife is a huge fan as well, we have a family, responsibilities, and we can't quit all of that to become groupies for the rest of the band's living days. Unless one of my faithful readers would like to send a few million dollars. I promise we'll spend it wisely.

Short of that, however, I am going to use happy number 50 for Dave to rank my top 50 DMB songs of all time. A few rules:

• No covers - no matter how much I love the various cover songs that DMB plays at shows, for this list to be authentic in my opinion the songs have to belong to the band.
• Unreleased tracks count - so Blue Water can make it in. 
• Studio versions are important, but the live version is more important. This is a band that has flourished because of their 25 plus years of playing live. What matters is how the song plays live. 
• The rareness of a song, and my search to hear it live, factors in. I'm just not really sure how. 
• This list is how the songs hit me now, in January of 2017. I've made lists before, and this will vary from those. 

And so, with no further delay, here are numbers 50-46, with brief comments:

#50 - JTR - a song written during The Lillywhite sessions and not officially released, JTR has been played off and on since its' creation. I've only heard JTR live once, and it was 6/18/2010. That show was delayed after a massive storm which ripped through Noblesville, decimating our camp site. We had nowhere to go really, as our car was parked a ways away, and all we had was tents. So we danced in the rain, got hailed on, appreciated the sudden drop in temperature (it was a heat index of well over 100 with extremely high humidity that day), and then the band took the stage, opening with JTR. Lyric to consider: "Rain down on me." 

#49 - Minarets - And oldie, Minarets was released on the 1993 independent release "Remember Two Things." Predating their initial commercial release and popularity, Minarets combines a driving beat with a Middle Eastern feel. I've seen Minarets live three times, including last year at Alpine Valley, the year before in Noblesville, and in 2012 at Alpine Valley. It always gets the crowd going. Lyric to consider: "What you see, what you see, what you see, what you see is human." 

#48 - Shotgun - Unreleased, this song is, outwardly, about the death of Dave's sister Anne. The song is not completed, and the lyrics change, but the emotion is extremely powerful, and raw. I've heard Shotgun live a total of six times, with a tease on the Friday show in 2009 leading to a full version on night two in Noblesville. Just a complete show stopper in a good way. Lyric to consider: none really; the song itself is just an experience. 

#47 - Pig - This is a song that is typically cited as a top ten, if not top five, song for most DMB fans. I love it, but the depth of this band's catalog force it down here for me. My favorite memory of this song involves a good friend in a car on the way to Alpine Valley. This friend was listening to Pig with us in the car stereo. He said "man I hope I finally hear this at Alpine." We laughed: the version of Pig that we were listening to was from the concert we had both been at earlier that year in Noblesville, where the band had played ... you guessed it ... Pig. That was the first time I ever heard Pig live. I've heard Pig a total of five times, including that year at Alpine as well. Either way, my friend got his wish ... twice in one year! Lyric to consider: "Don't burn the day away"

#46 - Say Goodbye - This song, off the second studio album, Crash, is a softer track. It often opens slowly, with Carter playing a drum solo, building into the whole band suddenly being there, jamming. The lyrics are an invitation of a sort, and build to a climactic end. I've seen Say Goodbye three times, in 2009, 2010 and 2011, but none since then. That it has crept into the back half of the top 50 over many other songs I love tells me that I'm very ready to hear it again. Lyric to consider: "And in your eyes I see what's on my mind. You've got me wild, turned around inside." 

The Ultimate Power Rankings - Part Three

As mentioned earlier, I'm breaking down all 92 professional sports teams in the NFL, NBA and MLB according to who I'd root for to win a championship (click here for all posts on this topic). This is helpful because we will be able to tell, at the end of this exercise, who I would root for if the Kansas City Chiefs met the Cleveland Browns in the AFC Championship game. We'll also be able to tell who I would be willing to bargain with the devil to get a championship for (the trinity), and which teams I'd bargain with the devil to get the franchise to contract (still to come). Also, it gets my mind off of work. So, without further delay, here is our third tier:

But Dammit, Do I Respect You (Ron Burgundy Edition)

7. Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays

The Pros: First, I refuse to drop the "Devil" in the name. I know that that simple move apparently allowed them to exorcise their demons (literally and figuratively), and suddenly they won more than the Cubs have in a century in a five year period. But it was cooler with the Devil in the name. Beyond that, I respect the front office and the way that they break down opponents, trade intelligently, and the way they develop prospects. I wish the Cubs had their front office. I'm also really excited to see three or four players out of the Cubs trade for Matt Garza celebrate a world series win in Tampa. Thanks for making me so optimistic Jim Hendry.

The Cons: Well, for one, they dropped the Devil, losing a cool name. They also have no fans, and a crappy stadium. And they probably just ripped the Cubs off in a trade. The running trend here is that I am Wes Mantooth to each of these team's Ron Burgundy. I'll probably be pissed that the Cubs got ripped off, but I'll respect the (Devil) Rays for doing it.

The Verdict: The Rays are like the little engine that could and almost has a few times. They go up against the Yankees and the Red Sox, and have had some success making the AL East a three team race. You've gotta respect that.

8. Oklahoma City Thunder

The Pros: Kevin Durant is the good super star thus far, quietly resigning with his small market team, and carrying himself well. They are a fun team to watch, and they are the best hope long term to hold of the Miami LeBron's.

The Cons: Look, they stole the franchise from Seattle. Bill Simmons won't call them the Thunder, he calls them the Zombie Sonics. I can't totally forgive the shady stealing of the franchise. And that's the biggest con of all.

The Verdict: Lots of upside, I am placing my hopes of stopping the Heat in them, and Durant seems to be a good guy. Beyond that, you've gotta respect the front office, even if I hate the ownership for stealing them away from Seattle, and losing us an iconic franchise in the process.

9. New England Patriots

The Pros: repeatedly beat the Colts, thwarting any chance Peyton Manning had of being known as the greatest of all time. Nearly had a perfect year, which you've gotta love. Brady is the everyman's superstar: drafted in the 6th round, forgotten, but a serious winner. I'm a sucker for dynasties, especially when they stand in the way of Peyton Manning.

The Cons: well, they blew a 3 touch down lead against the Colts in 2007, which, when mixed with a little Rex Grossman, led to Peyton Manning being a Super Bowl Champion. They then turned around and blew the game against the Giants, leading to Eli Manning being a Super Bowl Champion. Tom Brady has also grown his hair out, making him less of an everyman's superstar, and more of a super model wanna be.

The Verdict: The Pats would have been higher in 2006. They are falling with every year, but they are still this high because: A) I respect the way they have built and maintained their franchise, B) they toppled the Colts repeatedly, C) I won a lot of money betting against Colts fans when those teams played, and D) I really don't like the Colts, their fans, and will idolize anyone who topples them. If Grossman had won the Super Bowl against the Colts I would have probably made a blood pact to name my first born Rex. In a way that makes me glad the Bears didn't win.

10. New York Yankees

The Pros: Saint George (rest in peace) ran a franchise the way I'd run it, which is to say with too much interference, and sparing no expense out of a desire to win. I respect Jeter and Rivera. The Yankees dynasty of my lifetime did it with a ton of class, and the 1998 team was dynamic to watch because it had so few all time greats, but played like a team in a way few baseball teams ever have. I also appreciate the history.

The Cons: About the time that George started to see the end coming he green lit the trade for A-Rod, and all the insane free agency acquisitions, which never seemed to work out. And let's be honest, A-Rod is the anti-Jordan: prissy, not a winner, obsessed with self. You know, like Peyton Manning, only with more steroids. The loud mouthed son (Hank?) is a tool. I listen to/read so much Bill Simmons that his Yankees hate is starting to seep in on me. This is another team that might have been higher if you had checked in in the 2004 season. They also blew the 3-0 lead to Boston in 2004, which no longer is a big deal (with the White Sox and Cardinals winning since then, I've had bigger fish to fry), but at the time made me feel isolated and alone as a Cubs fan, watching the Red Sox winning it all one year after my Cubs had blown their best chance in two generations. So they take a hit for that.

The Verdict: I respect the dynasty, and I respect George. But George is gone, and they keep doing things that make me question my childhood decision to pick the Yankees as my AL team. The Rays have already jumped them, and at the current rate it's highly likely they'll continue to fall rather than have a resurgence on this list.

11. Charlotte Bobcats

The Pros: Michael Jeffery Jordan.

The Cons: Everything else about the franchise.

The Verdict: yes, MJ means that much to me. I can't think of the appropriate movie quote, but I'd follow him anywhere. I hope this team succeeds because I want him to succeed. I suspect it won't because I think Michael was constructed to do one thing: play basketball. But I respect the man so much that his team makes this tier based entirely on him owning the team. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some youtube clips of the 1998 Chicago Bulls.

The Ultimate Power Rankings - Part Two

As mentioned here, I'm doing a break down of all 92 professional teams across the NFL, NBA and MLB, ranking them first to 92nd in terms of who is going to have me rooting for them. In our first installment, we looked at the current power rankings within the Holy Trinity (Bears, Bulls, Cubs). Some have asked me why the Bears are first, and the ultimate question of "shouldn't you rank them according to who you'd rather see win it all?" That's a tough one. There is no doubt I'd rather see the Cubs win it all ... I mean, over 100 years of futility can't be ignored, right? ... but I'd be more likely to watch a Bears game if a Cubs game was on against it. That's the power of the NFL kids.

Anyway, for our second installment we look at the second tier of teams. This group is entitled "the emotional ties" because all of them have a special place in my heart, although none of them happen to be from the city of Chicago, so it's highly unlikely that any of them will leapfrog any of the trinity teams. Although, for a period of time there the Bulls would have had a hard time fending off a few of these teams. Anyway, we will break this group down, power poll spots 4-6, using the same logic we did last time:

The Emotional Ties

4. Pittsburgh Steelers

The Pros: in 2006, when all seemed lost as a Colts juggernaut steamrolled the league, the little six seed that could toppled them (leading to Manning infamously throwing his offensive line under the bus). Pittsburgh forever earned a special place in my heart for that, and would have doubled my love for them if they could have thwarted the evil Packers in last year's super bowl. But Pittsburgh also ranks this high for some other reasons. First, they play football the way it's supposed to be played: running the ball, tough defense, and with an identity. I love the Rooney family, and respect the city. I love that they've had three head coaches since the start of the 1969 season. That's right, forty two years (and counting) and three coaches. That's stability and honor. And it's what you get when you hire competent coaches (I'm looking at you Mike McCaskey and company). Finally, my own grandfather had a cup of coffee with the Steelers in 1948, which gives the family heritage angle some credence. Not too bad.

The Cons: Well ... I jinxed the possibility that it'd face this last year with my infamous "two tickets to paradise" post, but I suppose that the biggest con is that I love the Steelers so much that I'd prefer that the Bears never have to play them. Don't get me wrong, the Bears are the firm number one in my book, but it's kind like when you fall in love with a girl, she breaks your heart, you eventually find another girl, and you'd just assume that you never get put in a situation where they are both present, at the same time, vying for your attention. The Steelers are the only team that can compete with the trinity, and there's a lot of reasons for that. Beyond that, Big Ben is a bit of a tool. Although I think he got married this offseason, so maybe he's not going to be chasing tail in bar bathrooms anymore. Because we all know that athletes stop chasing tail as soon as they get married. Right Tiger? Also, they let the stupid cheese heads win the Super Bowl last year. Which was decidedly not cool.

The Verdict: Pittsburgh Steelers football is a way of life for a number of people. A former flame of mine lives in the heart of Steelers country right now, and blissfully reported that Steelers fans are awesome, and that it's just like being with Chicago fans. I have a Steelers jersey with my grandfather's old college football number on it, and my name on it. I cherish my Steelers hat. If the Bears can't win, I want the Steelers to take it down.

5. New Orleans Saints

The Pros: Remember what I said about Pittsburgh toppling Indy in 2006? That goes ten fold for the Saints beating the stupid Colts in 2010. Then there was the aspect of the death blow being dealt by a former Indiana Hoosier corner back, Tracy Porter, who played at IU all four years I went to IU. (Do I have a Saints Super Bowl Jersey of Tracy Porter? You're damn right I do!) But, as with Pittsburgh, it goes so much deeper than the toppling of the hated Colts. I remember back in 1999 when I bought my first (and only) New Orleans Saints hat. It was marked down, dirt cheap, in the Ft. Wayne mall. I bought it because Mike Ditka was the new coach of the Saints. It did not fit my head. By 2005 it fit my head, and I wore it to the Gulf Coast nine times to work on rebuilding the coast following Hurricane Katrina. I saw how much the Saints meant to the Coast. And I know how much their championship meant to the region. The Saints are an emotional connection because of Mississippi and New Orleans.

The Cons: well, at least I also have no issues rooting for them to get taken out by Chicago. I've proven that a few times. If the Bears and Saints play I'll be up in my Urlacher jersey, hoping they take Brees out. The only real con here is that the Saints are set up better than the Bears. I wish we had their management and coaching team.

The Verdict: another team that pulls at the heart, and another team that has saved me from imminent doom. I find it interesting that the Bears couldn't stop the Colts, but my number four and five teams could. Screw you too Rex Grossman. But on the topic of the Saints, they'll never have the undying love I have for Pittsburgh, but they won't be too far behind either because every time I pull out that Saints hat and look at the fade due to the time spent in the sun, and the rings of sweat that can't come out of the band, I'll think of those days on the coast, and I'll smile. And I'll think of Tracy Porter picking Manning. Hell Yeah.

6. Dallas Mavericks

The Pros: "Help us Dirk Nowitski. You're our only hope." I wrote those words after Miami beat Chicago in the eastern conference finals this year. He listened. That means a lot. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Dallas, probably because my uncle gave me a Dallas Mavs hat and a Jamal Mashburn t-shirt at a very young age. The Mavs were terrible when I was growing up, but Mark Cuban changed all that, and you should know that I love Cuban. I wish MLB had let him buy the Cubs. Cuban is everything I'd probably be if I was a billionaire owner of a sports team. Which is to say, a loudmouth blowhard who spares no expense on his team, can't stop yelling at referees who can't call games, and gets into trouble with the sport's commissioner. Yeah, that about sums it up. But you can't tell me Cuban doesn't want to win. And that's what I want out of my owner: someone who wants to win, no matter the cost or the odds. When I was growing up it was unthinkable that the Mavericks would win the NBA title. They just did. Because of Cuban. 'Nuff said.

The Cons: I'm not a huge fan of Dirk; he's good, but his lack of defense annoys me. Also, Jason Terry is like the annoying gnat of the NBA; you want to swat him away, but he keeps coming back, showing you his tattoo, and annoying you.

The Verdict: This team saved us from a Miami Heat title in year one of the "Big Three" era ... which is worth it's price in gold. As I've said before, the Heat will win a title. LeBron, like Peyton, is just too good to not win one by accident. But it would have sucked if they had taken it down in year one. It would have justified all the terrible moves LeBron made in the past year. The Mavs showed him for what he is. They have earned my respect, if nothing else, for that.

The Ultimate Power Rankings - Part 1

Did you know that there are ninety two professional sports franchises in the three big leagues (the NBA, the MLB and the NFL)? And, did you know, that I’ve never before given all these teams there due by letting them know where they stood with me? I mean, sure, the Colts know that they’ve been at the bottom for a long time, and the Packers, Pistons, White Sox, Pacers, and Cardinals could probably figure out that they weren’t exactly in the running for my favorite teams. And, yes, the three real Chicago teams (the Bears, the Bulls and the Cubs) could probably figure out that they’ve been competing for the top spot for my life as a sports fan. But I fear that I’ve done an injustice to those lost in the middle: the teams that fight day in and day out to move up or down and get noticed. Well, never fear Kansas City (Royals or Chiefs), and fret no more Cleveland (did the Cavs fold after LeBron left?). The time is here, and I’m going to unveil my ultimate power rankings. We will do this in twelve segments, with each grouping being explained, and with each team being examined. First up, the key group, the Holy Trinity.

The Holy Trinity

1. Chicago Bears

The Pros: the Bears, the team which brings the entire city of Chicago together, are a dynamo when you live in the Midwest. Bears football defines much of what we do, and what we love. They are the Monsters of the Midway, they are fierce and fearless, and they make us beam with pride. The history is there: George Halas, Papa Bear himself. The icons are numerous: George, Sayers, Butkis, Grange, Payton, Singletary, Hampton, Dent, and Urlacher to name a few. One of two charter franchises which remain. More Hall of Fame inductees than anyone. More championships than anyone but the Packers. The Bears are the home to the 1985 team which was by all account (that I wish to listen to) the greatest team to ever play the game. The numbers back it up, and the defense personified the city and the fan base. Being a Bears fan is otherworldly; get in a room with a bunch of true Bears fans, and there is nothing like it.

The Cons: at current time, the Bears are riddled with terrible coaching, beyond terrible management, and a propensity for cheap that belittles their huge revenue streams. Only Chicago would look at last year and think “we’ve gotta extend Lovie.” Only Chicago would have lost the NFC championship game by having Todd Collins as the backup to Jay Cutler. Only in Chicago.

The Verdict: as this is the first year that I’ve done these rankings, the Bears are the first time champs. Still, they have been in the one or two spot since 1999. In fact, I’d have to say that the Bears have probably held this spot more than any other team, so it’s befitting that they are the first official champs.

2. Chicago Cubs

The Pros: Wrigley Field is like Mecca for baseball fans. You go, and you suddenly transport back in time to a simpler time. Beyond that, there is the heritage, and the undying belief that we will get to see the championship drought end in our life time. It’s alluring, and the heartbreak can’t drive you away, it only draws you further in. My grandfather lived his entire life a Cubs fan and never saw them win the World Series. Needless to say, Eddie Vedder got it right when he opined “when the day comes with that last winning run and I’m crying and covered in beer, I’ll look to the sky and know I was right to think ‘someday we’ll go all the way.’”

The Cons: Management that typically makes the Bears management look brilliant in comparison. Moments that truly take it out of you and make you wonder why you even care (2003 as the prime example). Alphonso Soriano. Need I say more?

The Verdict: The Cubs undoubtedly would have held the top spot in 2003, 2004, 2007, 2008 and 2009. The history, the mystique, and the fact that going to baseball games live is the best sports experience out there gives them a boost. When they finally do win it, I know that I’ll be crying, and I’m going to do everything possible to be around the stadium (if not in it) when it happens. The Cubs are a patch you wear on your shoulder, realizing the disappointment, but hoping for future investment. And I’m pissed they didn’t trade away more at the deadline. But such is life. All you really need to know is that I got goosebumps walking into Wrigley Field for a Dave Matthews Band show. It has that kind of aura.

3. Chicago Bulls

The Pros: The legacy of Michael Jeffery Jordan, the greatest there ever was, and the greatest there ever will be. Sometimes, when I’m having a rough day, I’ll load up a youtube clip of MJ winning his last game as a Bull. It always helps. Beyond that, this team is the most likely to win a championship soon out of the Holy Trinity teams, and the management seems downright brilliant when compared with Angelo and Hendry. Derrick Rose is a genuine franchise cornerstone, which both the Bears and Cubs are lacking. On the whole, the Bulls have got to be pretty disappointed that they were not higher than here. Well, I was pretty disappointed that they waited until the series was over to put in Kurt Thomas and start playing physical with the Heat. But it was close.

The Cons: in present time, very few. But there was Krause blowing up the championship Bulls out of an exercise in ego. There was the drought between 1998 and 2011. There was the mismanagement of Curry, Chandler, Williams, Brand and every other player during that time. There was Tim frickin’ Floyd. And, through no fault of their own, there was the fact that the NBA was damn near dead to me for the better part of the last decade, before rising like the phoenix this last year. You can thank Rose for that, and, in a weird way, you can thank LeBron too.

The Verdict: If I was honest I’d say I was aware of sports around the 1992 for the first time. The Bulls were my first love. If I was going to retroactively give out these rankings, the Bulls would have been solidly in first (with not a whole lot of competition) from 1992 until 1998. That’s seven straight, and it’s impressive. But when they forced MJ out, and when the NBA went, as one faithful reader likes to say, “Gangsta Ball” on me, I lost interest, and the Bulls took a hit. It’s wonderful to have them back. If the NBA can avoid having their officials throw more games I watch, they might even stand a chance of climbing up the list.