And now, finally, we head into week 17, the last week of full NFL football for over a year if the owners have anything to say about it. It has been a wild and whacky year, and so in hindsight I'll review my preseason picks (posted here) and figure out what I was right about, what I was wrong about, and what just doesn't make any sense. Then, starting next week, we'll go with the playoff picks.
AFC EAST
Preseason predictions: New England (11-5), Miami (10-6), NY Jets (7-9), Buffalo (3-13)
Through week sixteen: New England (13-2), NY Jets (10-5), Miami (7-8), Buffalo (4-11)
What I was right about: in August my Uncle and I had a discussion about New England, and Tom Brady in particular. I stated that I thought Brady would have a resurgent year, due in large part to having a year under his belt since his knee injury. My Uncle proclaimed Brady to be done, based on the logic that he had the rings, the super model wife, and wasn't going to be as devoted to the trade as in years past. We agreed to disagree. For once I was more than right; Brady's season might be the best year a QB has had in NFL history, particularly when you consider that one of his four interceptions was on an end of half Hail Mary, the talent around him was either rebounding from serious injury (Welker), over the hill (Branch) or unknown castoffs (rookie TEs, Woodhead and Green-Ellis). One year after I lamented the fact that Manning was on the verge of making "Manning or Brady" a legitimate argument, Brady has made it laughable again.
What I was wrong about: I expected the Jets to fall much more spectacularly, and while I was mostly right about their flaws (highly overrated QB, poor decision switching Thomas Jones for Tomlinson, a defense with too many egos and not enough discipline), they are good enough to make the playoffs, and they have enough talent to make some noise again this year. So, by default, I was wrong in calling for the Jets demise this year. Leading the Jets to consecutive playoff appearances is quite the feat for Rex Ryan.
What doesn't make any sense: The Miami Dolphins: 1 and 7 at home, 6 and 1 on the road. Miami fans have had a rough year, between the Heat having to teach their fans how to be fans, and the Dolphins having the exact opposite of a home court advantage.
AFC North
Preseason predictions: Pittsburgh (12-4), Baltimore (10-6), Cincinnati (7-9), Cleveland (4-12)
Through week sixteen: Pittsburgh (11-4), Baltimore (11-4), Cleveland (5-10), Cincinnati (4-11)
What I was right about: in the preseason I stated that "even with a porous offensive line the Steelers will reassert themselves as the top team in the AFC north." So far, so good. I also correctly projected a playoff year for Baltimore, and a regression from the Division Champ to out of the playoffs for Cincinnati, as well as a poor year for Cleveland.
What I was wrong about: I also wrote about Cincinnati that "Cincinnati has all kinds of warning flags for me: a QB who has looked progressively more washed up with every year, a RB who has no heart and poor secondary numbers, two big mouthed diva WRs, and a coach who nobody is sure is actually good." Even with realizing all of that I didn't devalue the Bengals enough. This is how bad the Bengals season was: a co-worker of mine, a life long Bengals fan, finally decided enough was enough this year, and he dumped the team. That's right, he disowned them, held a multi-week search for a new team, and finally settled on the New York Jets. I can't say I condone this action, but I at least appreciate what drove him to it.
What doesn't make any sense: I'm still puzzled by Cleveland giving millions of dollars to Jake Delhomme's corpse. It doesn't make any more sense now than it did at the time. Thank God, for the city of Cleveland's sake, that Delhomme got hurt. Only Jake's play could make Colt McCoy look like a franchise savior.
AFC South
Preseason predictions: Indianapolis (13-3), Houston (11-5), Tennessee (8-8), Jacksonville (8-8)
Through week sixteen: Indianapolis (9-6), Jacksonville (8-7), Tennessee (6-9), Houston (5-10)
What I was right about: Check out my quote from the preseason and tell me this isn't hauntingly prophetic: "the Colts have become like a bad horror movie: every time you think they are dead you walk away, fail to finish the deed, then they come back and maul you. Someone needs to cut their head off, but looking at this group I'm not sure anyone is capable of it." Now, flash forward to week 14. The Colts are 6-6, the Jags are in control of the division, even Houston and Tennessee have outside chances. Three weeks later, and none of the group were capable of finishing the Colts off. Somehow, this team is going to be in the playoffs again, as the division champs again.
What I was wrong about: I vastly overrated Houston's ability to capitalize on all their talent. They should have just collectively retired after beating the Colts week one. That was the high point of their season.
What doesn't make any sense: Ok, the idea that Peyton Manning is playing with a group of players so inferior to Tom Brady this year is ridiculous. Peyton, welcome to Tom's world: playing with castoffs, late round draft picks, and washed up veterans. With the lone exception of a two year honeymoon with Randy Moss, that's been his entire career. You know, while you've been berating a few guys by the names of Harrison, James, Faulk, Wayne, and Clark. The Manning myth is the most impressive thing the NFL has ever constructed.
AFC West
Preseason predictions: Oakland Raiders (9-7), San Diego Charges (8-8), Denver Broncos (7-9), Kansas City (6-10)
Through week sixteen: Kansas City (10-5), San Diego (8-7), Oakland (7-8), Denver (4-11)
What I was right about: The Chargers really did find a way to blow the division, and Oakland really did improve quite a bit. My preseason Oakland prediction wasn't actually as crazy as you thought, was it?
What I was wrong about: I vastly underrated the impact that the Chiefs would get out of getting the band back together: Charlie Wise and Romeo Crennel both did wonders for their respective sides of the ball, and for the second time in three years Matt Cassell looks like a competent QB. Thomas Jones just keeps on delivering playoff appearances for whatever team wakes up and realizes he still a productive running back. I'm so glad the Bears dumped him a few years back for Cedric Benson. Jerry and Lovie, you guys are absolute geniuses. (Help me. Lovie has a gun to my head right now. SEND HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
What doesn't make any sense: The Chargers have the second best offense in the league, and the best defense in the league. Can we all just agree to fire Norv Turner now, and never rehire him? I feel like I need to hold an intervention for NFL owners. Seriously guys, this never ends well. The Norv train ain't never late.
NFC East
Preseason predictions: Dallas (13-3), NY Giants (10-6), Washington Redskins (8-8), Philadelphia (6-10)
Through week sixteen: Philadelphia (10-5), NY Giants (9-6), Washington (6-9), Dallas (5-10)
What I was right about: Not much. I suppose you can say that I was pretty spot on in my analysis of the New York Giants, even though most in the media didn't like them to return to the playoffs. I was also right in my "why this won't happen" section, when I stated "Wade Phillips outweighs his talent."
What I was wrong about: I clearly stated that Dallas had too much talent to do exactly what they did: crap the bed, or billion dollar stadium, so to speak. Can we also agree never to hire Wade Phillips again? If only I'd followed my Norv logic through to the end I wouldn't have missed this one by so much. I also didn't envision Michael Vick becoming the captain of the most exciting offense in the NFL. Although I did see it coming after his week one performance, when I picked him up for my fantasy teams.
What doesn't make any sense: Mike Shanahan just benched Donovan McNabb, right after extending him for $78 million dollars, for Rex Grossman. I take back my preseason assessment that you wouldn't mind having Shanahan run your team.
NFC North
Preseason predictions: Green Bay (11-5), Chicago (10-6), Minnesota (7-9), Detroit (6-10)
Through week sixteen: Chicago (11-4), Green Bay (9-6), Minnesota (6-9), Detroit (5-10)
What I was right about: Almost everything; in fact, were it not for a multitude of injuries for Green Bay I'm thinking I might have been dead on. I told you that the Bears would win just enough for management to extend Lovie. And I couldn't be more excited about it. The man truly is a coaching genius. Who's Mike Ditka? (PLEASE SEND HELP. I'M AFRAID LOVIE IS GOING TO STAY THROUGH THE WEEKEND SINCE HE WILL ALMOST UNDOUBTEDLY MAIL THIS WEEK'S GAME IN, A TERRIBLE ... I MEAN, GREAT STRATEGY. I SAID GREAT STRATEGY LOVIE. WAIT, LOVIE .... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
What I was wrong about: Pretty much nothing except for not projecting that Green Bay would look more like a trauma ward and less like a football team this year.
What doesn't make any sense: Why does Brian Urlacher not care anymore? Did last year really mellow him out this much? While watching the Bears get ripped apart by New England the most depressing part of the game was that nobody seemed to care. Three years ago Urlacher would have ended someone on the sidelines, on the field, something. What happened big guy? Who knew your heart was actually located in the wrist?
NFC South
Preseason predictions: New Orleans (14-2), Carolina (11-5), Atlanta (9-7), Tampa Bay (5-11)
Through week sixteen: Atlanta (12-3), New Orleans (11-4), Tampa Bay (9-6), Carolina (2-13)
What I was right about: The streak of non-concurrent division winners continues ... which I mentioned in the section about why my prediction for this division would not happen. Crap.
What I was wrong about: I refuse to believe that I picked Carolina to go 11-5 this year. This part of the picks section had to have been hijacked by The Wiese. There is no way that I would have ever typed the words "I believe in Matt Moore."
What doesn't make any sense: Why I was stupid enough to pick Carolina to go 11-5. On the whole I didn't do too bad this year. But this pick is pretty embarrassing. Even Lovie is laughing at me.
NFC West
Preseason predictions: San Francisco (11-5), Arizona (8-8), St. Louis (5-11), Seattle (4-12)
Through week sixteen: St. Louis (7-8), Seattle (6-9), San Francisco (5-10), Arizona (5-10)
What I was right about: That's a good question. I guess I was right about this division not being any good, and being "super weak." I was so right about that read that we are getting the following promo this Sunday night: "Rams! Seahawks! A five hundred or worse playoff team is only sixty minutes from being crowned. A playoff play in on NBC!" Even Collinsworth can't sell this right?
What I was wrong about: I'm sorry Mike Singletary. I believed in you. I'll still wear your jersey proudly. But you were not very good as a coach.
What doesn't make any sense: I'm having trauma echos about betting against the NFC West champ in the first round, and I don't even know who they champ will be yet. The reason? Betting three straight rounds against "the worst team to ever make the playoffs" two years ago (9-7 Arizona) only to have them march to the Super Bowl. History can't repeat itself ... right?
Preseason Playoff Predictions
AFC PLAYOFF TEAMS (by seed)
1. Indianapolis Colts
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
3. New England Patriots
4. Oakland Raiders
5. Houston Texans
6. Baltimore Ravens
NFC PLAYOFF TEAMS (by seed)
1. New Orleans Saints
2. Dallas Cowboys
3. San Francisco 49ers
4. Green Bay Packers
5. Carolina Panthers
6. New York Giants
Likely Playoff Teams through week 16.
AFC:
1. New England
2. Pittsburgh
3. Kansas City
4. Indianapolis
5. Baltimore
6. NY Jets
(this could be shifted upside down if Pittsburgh and KC lose, and the Colts, Ravens, and Jets win. Then it would be 1. New England, 2. Baltimore, 3. Indianapolis, 4. Kansas City, 5. NY Jets and 6. Pittsburgh. And yes, I have that memorized. Seeding is important for playoff picks. And even though it isn't likely to happen, I suppose the Jags beaten corpse could win, with the Colts losing, resulting in the Colts missing the playoffs and the Jags as the 4 seed. Please?)
NFC:
1. Atlanta
2. Chicago
3. Philadelphia
4. St. Louis
5. New Orleans
6. Green Bay
(Atlanta could still lose the number one seed or division heading into the final week. Fear the Panthers Atlanta. This is John Fox's last game, and like I ... I mean, like The Wiese said earlier this year, the Panthers are going all out for him. It's time for win number three baby!
...
...
I'm back. Beyond that, Seattle could be the 4 seed if they beat St. Louis, the Bears could be the one seed if they win and Atlanta and New Orleans lose, the NY Giants could be in if they win and Green Bay falls to Chicago. But that six looks likely to me. So there.)
And so, in comparison, I (most likely) got four of six AFC teams correct (New England, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Indy) while missing on the AFC west (KC not Oakland) and the other wild card team (NY Jets, not Houston ... never Houston). I only got one certain, and no more than two NFC teams correct (New Orleans and probably Green Bay.
50%
That's the NFL baby. At least my preseason prediction for the Super Bowl (New Orleans over Pittsburgh) is still alive. Although I could have sworn I took Pittsburgh. Maybe The Wiese wrote that part too, huh Lovie?
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Ron Santo
I wish life wasn't quite so busy. If it wasn't I would have time to write more, but I felt the need to take a break from my semester paper to share my Ron Santo story.
About ten years ago my father, brother and I went to Chicago in the dead of winter to attend the Cubs Convention. For those of you who have not been to this event, it is all things Cubs, all the time. We listened to panel discussions, we stood in line to meet former and current Cubs, and we ducked out to catch a Bulls game in the post-MJ era; a decision I think we all regretted as soon as the opening tip happened. The Cubs convention held two iconic moments in my mind. The first was standing next to Ernie Banks, Mr. Cub himself, with my father and brother and getting our picture taken. Mr. Banks was kind enough to call us up even though his time was up and we had been told that he had to go. He asked if we wanted autographs; we replied uniformly that it was more meaningful to have the opportunity to shake his hand.
If you ask my brother and father what their iconic memory of that trip was I am sure they'd say meeting Ernie Banks, mixed in with the morons who let us pass them in line because they weren't there to see Mr. Banks ... they were there to see Kyle Farnsworth. But while this memory shines for me, I have a different moment that meant the world to me. As we were sitting in the room waiting for a panel discussion to start, an event that included a great number of Cubs greats, I saw Ron Santo walk in. You have to understand, this was a group that included Ryne Sandburg and other Cubs greats, but Santo stole the show. I noticed him immediately; he as the voice of the Cubs, the man who had taught me more than any other the joy and pain that came with rooting for the Northsiders. I quickly grabbed the calendar that was a door giveaway, and asked my father for a pen. He handed over his fine-ink banker pen, and off I went (all of ten or twelve at the time), dodging through people so that I could get to Ron before he made it to the stage.
I made it to him and said "Mr. Santo, could I have your autograph please?" Ron smiled at me, said "sure kid" and took the pen and calendar out of my hands. I felt like a million bucks as he took the cap off the pen, went to sign it ... and the pen wouldn't write on the calendar. The material wasn't made for a banker pen. My heart sank, as I realized I had just blown my opportunity to get Ron Santo's autograph, and made myself look like a young fool in the process. As I tried to work up the fortitude to turn and walk away (entirely ready to forget the calendar and the pen) I heard Ron say "hey, does anybody have a sharpie so I can sign this calendar for this young man?" I turned in time to see someone pass a sharpie over (lesson learned: sharpies are the best autograph hunting tools to carry), and Ron signed the calendar, handed it to me with a smile, then headed up to the stage. I, in turn, left with much more than an autograph of a player who was retired long before I came around; I left with a lesson on class and kindness.
I think I know where that calendar is right now, but I can't be sure. Life gets in the way, and things come and go. Ron Santo will not fade, however, in my mind, or in the hearts of millions of other Cubs fans around the world. Santo is a rare entity in the sports world: a legend who is revered by many, but largely under-appreciated. That he is not in the Hall of Fame goes a long way towards making that institution a sham. I also have little doubt that the powers that be will put him in the hall shortly; it has long been thought that they'd wait him out, and give him that acknowledgment only after he passed. If and when that happens, I hope that whoever gives his induction speech sends the simplest of messages, one that Ron sent time and again: you guys missed your chance. Ron Santo, through all of his trials, became bigger than most players in one crucial way: he defined a franchise, a passion for the game, and an entire nation of Cubs fans. When his number was retired at Wrigley he reached his absolution; the rest is just peanuts. And now, just like that, he's gone. Quietly, without complaint, which was Ronnie's style. I can't begin to fathom tuning into 720 this spring, summer and fall, and not hearing Ron Santo's ecstatic "yes!" or depressing "Jeez!" Ron taught me all I needed to know about being a sports fan: you stick by your team through thick and thin. You always believe, and never forget that you are blessed each time you walk into the hallowed grounds of Wrigley. Ronnie, I wish I could say this season was for you, that we were gonna win it all in your name. Maybe we will, but I doubt it. What I do know is that Eddie Vedder spoke what you lived: "when the day comes with that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered in beer, I look to the sky and know I was right to think 'someday we'll go all the way.'"
Mr. Santo, thanks for the memories. You will be missed.
About ten years ago my father, brother and I went to Chicago in the dead of winter to attend the Cubs Convention. For those of you who have not been to this event, it is all things Cubs, all the time. We listened to panel discussions, we stood in line to meet former and current Cubs, and we ducked out to catch a Bulls game in the post-MJ era; a decision I think we all regretted as soon as the opening tip happened. The Cubs convention held two iconic moments in my mind. The first was standing next to Ernie Banks, Mr. Cub himself, with my father and brother and getting our picture taken. Mr. Banks was kind enough to call us up even though his time was up and we had been told that he had to go. He asked if we wanted autographs; we replied uniformly that it was more meaningful to have the opportunity to shake his hand.
If you ask my brother and father what their iconic memory of that trip was I am sure they'd say meeting Ernie Banks, mixed in with the morons who let us pass them in line because they weren't there to see Mr. Banks ... they were there to see Kyle Farnsworth. But while this memory shines for me, I have a different moment that meant the world to me. As we were sitting in the room waiting for a panel discussion to start, an event that included a great number of Cubs greats, I saw Ron Santo walk in. You have to understand, this was a group that included Ryne Sandburg and other Cubs greats, but Santo stole the show. I noticed him immediately; he as the voice of the Cubs, the man who had taught me more than any other the joy and pain that came with rooting for the Northsiders. I quickly grabbed the calendar that was a door giveaway, and asked my father for a pen. He handed over his fine-ink banker pen, and off I went (all of ten or twelve at the time), dodging through people so that I could get to Ron before he made it to the stage.
I made it to him and said "Mr. Santo, could I have your autograph please?" Ron smiled at me, said "sure kid" and took the pen and calendar out of my hands. I felt like a million bucks as he took the cap off the pen, went to sign it ... and the pen wouldn't write on the calendar. The material wasn't made for a banker pen. My heart sank, as I realized I had just blown my opportunity to get Ron Santo's autograph, and made myself look like a young fool in the process. As I tried to work up the fortitude to turn and walk away (entirely ready to forget the calendar and the pen) I heard Ron say "hey, does anybody have a sharpie so I can sign this calendar for this young man?" I turned in time to see someone pass a sharpie over (lesson learned: sharpies are the best autograph hunting tools to carry), and Ron signed the calendar, handed it to me with a smile, then headed up to the stage. I, in turn, left with much more than an autograph of a player who was retired long before I came around; I left with a lesson on class and kindness.
I think I know where that calendar is right now, but I can't be sure. Life gets in the way, and things come and go. Ron Santo will not fade, however, in my mind, or in the hearts of millions of other Cubs fans around the world. Santo is a rare entity in the sports world: a legend who is revered by many, but largely under-appreciated. That he is not in the Hall of Fame goes a long way towards making that institution a sham. I also have little doubt that the powers that be will put him in the hall shortly; it has long been thought that they'd wait him out, and give him that acknowledgment only after he passed. If and when that happens, I hope that whoever gives his induction speech sends the simplest of messages, one that Ron sent time and again: you guys missed your chance. Ron Santo, through all of his trials, became bigger than most players in one crucial way: he defined a franchise, a passion for the game, and an entire nation of Cubs fans. When his number was retired at Wrigley he reached his absolution; the rest is just peanuts. And now, just like that, he's gone. Quietly, without complaint, which was Ronnie's style. I can't begin to fathom tuning into 720 this spring, summer and fall, and not hearing Ron Santo's ecstatic "yes!" or depressing "Jeez!" Ron taught me all I needed to know about being a sports fan: you stick by your team through thick and thin. You always believe, and never forget that you are blessed each time you walk into the hallowed grounds of Wrigley. Ronnie, I wish I could say this season was for you, that we were gonna win it all in your name. Maybe we will, but I doubt it. What I do know is that Eddie Vedder spoke what you lived: "when the day comes with that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered in beer, I look to the sky and know I was right to think 'someday we'll go all the way.'"
Mr. Santo, thanks for the memories. You will be missed.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Greatest There Was...
... The Greatest There Ever Will Be.
I'll be back in a few to write more on the NFL, the NBA and such ... but man, oh man, does this clip light a fire under me. Talk about inspiration.
I'll be back in a few to write more on the NFL, the NBA and such ... but man, oh man, does this clip light a fire under me. Talk about inspiration.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Are the Democrats the New Republics?
Ok, pop quiz: who is Alan Grayson? I'll give you a picture to make this easier:
...
...
Ok, time is up. I will give full credit for the following answer:
"Alan Grayson is the Democratic Congressman from Florida's eight district."
I will also give extra credit for any answer coming close to this:
"Alan Grayson is a loose cannon who has no concept of honor, only the concept of taking cheap shots at opponents rather than developing policy positions."
Now, a little more background:
He ran for the seat in 2006 but could not get in despite the intense ground swelling for Democrats in that year. Grayson quickly announced that 2008 would be his year instead, and on the coattails of now President Obama Grayson was swept into office. As a self-proclaimed 'center right' Democrat, Grayson has had a bit of controversy that has followed him around from place to place. As his biography page will happily tell you, Grayson is independently wealthy, the beneficiary of hard work and the American dream. He was the first President of IDT Corp., a cable/internet firm that his hard work (we're led to believe) drove from the 2nd floor of a funeral parlor* to a firm valued at over $2 billion dollars by Forbes.
*"on the 2nd floor of a funeral parlor" might also double as an apt description of Grayson's political existence if his campaign this fall is any indicator. Just saying
The good news? Grayson walked away from all of that. I'm sure he did so while renouncing his fortune, instead stating a genuine desire for the life of a public servant. Or maybe he did it, and nobody really wants to know how IDT Corp. became that rich, nor what corporate "connections" still control this man. I'm not sure anymore. Either way, Grayson went into politics with what we can assume is a substantial amount of theoretical wealth (stocks, investments, etc), and probably a whole heck of a lot of people to answer to.
Still, all of this is small bananas for the really good stuff. Grayson, in addition to being the proud owner of a biography that makes my stomach church, also happens to have the inability to have his "stupid detector" stop him from saying things which are ... well ... stupid. Among the real winners:
- Grayson on the Republican approach to health care: "the Republican health care plan is this: 'don't get sick. And if you do get sick, die quickly'" (Even if you think it's true doesn't mean it's politically savvy ... and this guy defended his statements by essentially saying "hey, what the heck, it brought in more donations for my campaign.")
- Grayson then upped the ante on health care, stating “I apologize to the dead and their families that we haven't voted sooner to end this Holocaust in America." (But, as Grayson pointed out later, he is, in fact, Jewish ... which I guess makes the whole holocaust-Republican health care plan thing ok. Oh wait. No it doesn't.)
- On people who attended a Glen Beck rally, Grayson said "These are people who were wearing sheets over their heads 25 years ago."
- Um, check out this video next:
The problem with this? Um ... it's not even remotely accurate. In fact, it's a lie. He clipped up and distorted this video clip:
After seeing this how can you not feel all good about what Alan Grayson brings to the table? If this man is willing to slice and dice a man's words to make him look like a misogynist tool, what, pray tell, would be his moral limits?
- Finally, check out this amazing article. Alan Grayson, friends, is the gift that keeps giving. In this recent bout of verbal diarrhea Grayson decides to bring Sarah Palin into the fray, and to illustrate he inability to be a politician ... because she uses Twitter. Not because of her positions. Not because he is anti-Alaskan. Not because he is against her daughter on "Dancing With The Stars." Because she uses Twitter. Check out this awesome piece of Grayson-speak:
"What is it about Sarah Palin and Twitter? Is Palin fond of tweeting because she can draft a tweet on her palm? Is it that 140 characters represents the maximum length of Sarah Palin's attention span?"
*For those who don't know, "burn" is a phrase the kids use to describe someone who was just made fun of. That's what Grayson tried to do here from what I can tell. Burn Palin.
So, friends, you can see by now what my central thesis is: the Democrats should not maintain this seat. Not with this guy. I don't care what his political views and motivations are any more. I just care that his actions hurt people. They hurt the process. They are disingenuous, and they aim to take full advantage of people who don't know any better. I shutter to think how many poor Floridans are walking around RIGHT NOW thinking that:
A) Dan Webster is a male-chauvinist pig
and
B) Dan Webster is actually a member of the Taliban
... all because Alan Grayson submitted himself to the lowest common denominator in politics: he who is about to get his butt kicked should sling mud ... and if you have a chance to take advantage of your constituents stupidity, you gotta do that too. Unless Dan Webster is, in fact, Osama Bin Laden I can't imagine he'd be less reprehensible. But maybe I'll break him down next just to find out, and then implore people to write in Sarah Palin.
......
Ok, time is up. I will give full credit for the following answer:
"Alan Grayson is the Democratic Congressman from Florida's eight district."
I will also give extra credit for any answer coming close to this:
"Alan Grayson is a loose cannon who has no concept of honor, only the concept of taking cheap shots at opponents rather than developing policy positions."
Now, a little more background:
He ran for the seat in 2006 but could not get in despite the intense ground swelling for Democrats in that year. Grayson quickly announced that 2008 would be his year instead, and on the coattails of now President Obama Grayson was swept into office. As a self-proclaimed 'center right' Democrat, Grayson has had a bit of controversy that has followed him around from place to place. As his biography page will happily tell you, Grayson is independently wealthy, the beneficiary of hard work and the American dream. He was the first President of IDT Corp., a cable/internet firm that his hard work (we're led to believe) drove from the 2nd floor of a funeral parlor* to a firm valued at over $2 billion dollars by Forbes.
*"on the 2nd floor of a funeral parlor" might also double as an apt description of Grayson's political existence if his campaign this fall is any indicator. Just saying
The good news? Grayson walked away from all of that. I'm sure he did so while renouncing his fortune, instead stating a genuine desire for the life of a public servant. Or maybe he did it, and nobody really wants to know how IDT Corp. became that rich, nor what corporate "connections" still control this man. I'm not sure anymore. Either way, Grayson went into politics with what we can assume is a substantial amount of theoretical wealth (stocks, investments, etc), and probably a whole heck of a lot of people to answer to.
Still, all of this is small bananas for the really good stuff. Grayson, in addition to being the proud owner of a biography that makes my stomach church, also happens to have the inability to have his "stupid detector" stop him from saying things which are ... well ... stupid. Among the real winners:
- Grayson on the Republican approach to health care: "the Republican health care plan is this: 'don't get sick. And if you do get sick, die quickly'" (Even if you think it's true doesn't mean it's politically savvy ... and this guy defended his statements by essentially saying "hey, what the heck, it brought in more donations for my campaign.")
- Grayson then upped the ante on health care, stating “I apologize to the dead and their families that we haven't voted sooner to end this Holocaust in America." (But, as Grayson pointed out later, he is, in fact, Jewish ... which I guess makes the whole holocaust-Republican health care plan thing ok. Oh wait. No it doesn't.)
- On people who attended a Glen Beck rally, Grayson said "These are people who were wearing sheets over their heads 25 years ago."
- Um, check out this video next:
The problem with this? Um ... it's not even remotely accurate. In fact, it's a lie. He clipped up and distorted this video clip:
After seeing this how can you not feel all good about what Alan Grayson brings to the table? If this man is willing to slice and dice a man's words to make him look like a misogynist tool, what, pray tell, would be his moral limits?
- Finally, check out this amazing article. Alan Grayson, friends, is the gift that keeps giving. In this recent bout of verbal diarrhea Grayson decides to bring Sarah Palin into the fray, and to illustrate he inability to be a politician ... because she uses Twitter. Not because of her positions. Not because he is anti-Alaskan. Not because he is against her daughter on "Dancing With The Stars." Because she uses Twitter. Check out this awesome piece of Grayson-speak:
"What is it about Sarah Palin and Twitter? Is Palin fond of tweeting because she can draft a tweet on her palm? Is it that 140 characters represents the maximum length of Sarah Palin's attention span?"
I have not seen an argument that intellectually developed since 3rd grade. I work with kids who will never be considered intelligent, but even they would listen to that and go "burn!"* In doing this, Alan Grayson managed to do something I had previously thought to be impossible: he made Sarah Palin seem like the well centered, intelligent, logical individual. All she said was that Grayson's opponent should "keep moving forward w/positive,strong,sharp message of truth! (As opposed to opponent who disgraced himself w/that ad)." Does anyone disagree with the sentiment that anyone should move forward with a positive message and not fall to the depths that Grayson did? Did Alan Grayson really just make Sarah Palin seem well-adjusted?
*For those who don't know, "burn" is a phrase the kids use to describe someone who was just made fun of. That's what Grayson tried to do here from what I can tell. Burn Palin.
So, friends, you can see by now what my central thesis is: the Democrats should not maintain this seat. Not with this guy. I don't care what his political views and motivations are any more. I just care that his actions hurt people. They hurt the process. They are disingenuous, and they aim to take full advantage of people who don't know any better. I shutter to think how many poor Floridans are walking around RIGHT NOW thinking that:
A) Dan Webster is a male-chauvinist pig
and
B) Dan Webster is actually a member of the Taliban
... all because Alan Grayson submitted himself to the lowest common denominator in politics: he who is about to get his butt kicked should sling mud ... and if you have a chance to take advantage of your constituents stupidity, you gotta do that too. Unless Dan Webster is, in fact, Osama Bin Laden I can't imagine he'd be less reprehensible. But maybe I'll break him down next just to find out, and then implore people to write in Sarah Palin.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
And this?
Ok ... are you KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
.......
.......
At least the Colts lost... (check the link on "kidding me" to see what I'm saying. Goodnight)
.......
.......
At least the Colts lost... (check the link on "kidding me" to see what I'm saying. Goodnight)
The Massacre at the Meadowlands
The Massacre at the Meadowlands ... I just got home from work at 11PM EST, turned on the Bears-Giants game ... and holy crap. I guess we found out that the Bears are who we thought they were: a poorly coached, poorly managed team that lost week one (let's be honest here) and were handed a game last week.
Now hear me out, because I know the "you just hate Lovie" chants can't be far behind ...
- Last year our offensive line was ... well ... offensive. We couldn't run the ball or protect our QB all year long. So what did we do to improve it this offseason? Well ... nothing. At all. We brought back the same group of scrubs that we trotted out last year. During the first three weeks of the season it was painfully obvious that if Cutler were to make it through the year upright it would be a miracle. Tonight, from what I can tell, all hell broke loose. Cutler knocked out of the game, Todd Collins knocked out of the game (I'll get back to him in a minute) ... nothing. All because our brilliant management decided the offensive line would magically improve.
- We cut a young QB with upside (Dan LeFevour) to keep an antique version of a clip-board holder (Todd Collins) ... and then we actually played Collins? How is this guy still in the league? He wasn't good back when he could actually stand upright, and now we expect him to QB for us after Cutler goes down? Are you serious? In what world does this make sense?
- Finally, I didn't see the game, so I have to go to my right hand man, the Bowser, for his analysis:
"The Coaching is awful, and I mean bad. This is the most ridiculous game I've ever watched. It's completely pathetic. I want Lovie one on one in a cage match."
This is the breakdown of an individual who: a) knows football, b) loves the Bears, and C) is generally pretty logical about these things. I don't need to rewatch the tape to know that if it struck him this way it was a really poorly coached game. But, friends, it all starts up front, and due to Lovie and Jerry's magic plan of crossing their fingers to fix the o-line we may be in deep junk.
So ... can we fire these pathetic excuses for coaches and front office personnel yet?
Lazy Sunday Mornings
Just about to go into work, but here are a few topics I'm thinking about:
- I saw the movie "The Social Network" last night, and was impressed ... I think. I had known a little bit about the invention of Facebook, and I had a seat to watching it explode from a very cool college networking tool (2004) to the bane of my existence (2007), until, finally, my mom is on it but I'm not (2010). What this movie did well, above everything else, was show the inner workings of becoming an accidental billionaire. The acting was pretty well done (the movie even had a solid performance by ex-boy band icon Justin Timberlake), but it was the story, with its biting, interwoven dialogue which made the movie a winner in my books. Mark Zuckerberg ... youngest billionaire in the world. All because he took someone's idea, improved it, spread it, and finally sold it. Hard to believe he did it all because he was socially inept with women.
- The movie did take me to a second line of thought: what would I do if I had $1,000,000,000? For someone who works in social work, such as myself, this is a hard concept to even wrap my mind around. I'm not even sure what I would do if I had $10,000, much less a billion dollars. Still, as I discussed the topic I came to some very defined conclusions: I would donate enough money to make my non-for-profit place of employment solvent for the rest of my life even if the government decided to cut all funding off. I would donate a considerable amount of money to the relief organization I collaborated on the Gulf Coast with. I would set up a big trust fund for my nephew, but quite a few people houses, and try to make life easier for those around me. And I'd buy a 42 inch television. Just a step up from where I'm at, but anything bigger wouldn't fit in my front room. And I have to stay in this house for five years or I have to pay back $7,500 in grant money. And, even as an imaginary billionaire, I wouldn't want to do that.
- The Cubs season (thankfully) comes to an end today in Houston. This is the first year in quite some time (2001? 2002?) that I didn't make it to one Cubs game. This team was done in April, and I proclaimed it as such ... and, well, sometimes it sucks to be right. The questions now start to focus on how the team can move forward, and those questions start with who will be the captain of the ship come spring training 2011. Ryne Sandberg has to be the front runner, but Joe Girardi could steal that away from him if he decides he is ready to leave the House that George built. Mike Quade has done an admirable job down the stretch, and if we weren't talking about a billion dollar investment by the Ricketts family that might be enough. I'm sure other names (Bob Melvin, Bob Brenley, Bobby Valentine, etc) will be brought up as well, but the smart money here is that Sandberg will get the job because he has name and face recognition, and the brand is as important as anything in Wrigley.
- I did make it to Wrigley to see Dave Matthews Band two weeks ago. The last two shows of the last summer tour (ever?) were filled front to back, and again I was fortunate to be at the show. I know that there are quite a few people out there who don't have any use for DMB, but for my money it's one of the best shows out there. If only I was independently wealthy I'd get to Charlottesville to see their final two shows of the fall season, as I'm sure they will blow it out.
- Finally, goodbye to Rick Sanchez, former CNN "journalist" and world class tool. Everybody, the lesson, as always, is this: in this day and age you can't say anything even remotely inflammatory without expecting to lose your job for it. At least Rick will always be in our hearts for this magical moment (skip to the 1:10 mark for the good stuff):
- I saw the movie "The Social Network" last night, and was impressed ... I think. I had known a little bit about the invention of Facebook, and I had a seat to watching it explode from a very cool college networking tool (2004) to the bane of my existence (2007), until, finally, my mom is on it but I'm not (2010). What this movie did well, above everything else, was show the inner workings of becoming an accidental billionaire. The acting was pretty well done (the movie even had a solid performance by ex-boy band icon Justin Timberlake), but it was the story, with its biting, interwoven dialogue which made the movie a winner in my books. Mark Zuckerberg ... youngest billionaire in the world. All because he took someone's idea, improved it, spread it, and finally sold it. Hard to believe he did it all because he was socially inept with women.
- The movie did take me to a second line of thought: what would I do if I had $1,000,000,000? For someone who works in social work, such as myself, this is a hard concept to even wrap my mind around. I'm not even sure what I would do if I had $10,000, much less a billion dollars. Still, as I discussed the topic I came to some very defined conclusions: I would donate enough money to make my non-for-profit place of employment solvent for the rest of my life even if the government decided to cut all funding off. I would donate a considerable amount of money to the relief organization I collaborated on the Gulf Coast with. I would set up a big trust fund for my nephew, but quite a few people houses, and try to make life easier for those around me. And I'd buy a 42 inch television. Just a step up from where I'm at, but anything bigger wouldn't fit in my front room. And I have to stay in this house for five years or I have to pay back $7,500 in grant money. And, even as an imaginary billionaire, I wouldn't want to do that.
- The Cubs season (thankfully) comes to an end today in Houston. This is the first year in quite some time (2001? 2002?) that I didn't make it to one Cubs game. This team was done in April, and I proclaimed it as such ... and, well, sometimes it sucks to be right. The questions now start to focus on how the team can move forward, and those questions start with who will be the captain of the ship come spring training 2011. Ryne Sandberg has to be the front runner, but Joe Girardi could steal that away from him if he decides he is ready to leave the House that George built. Mike Quade has done an admirable job down the stretch, and if we weren't talking about a billion dollar investment by the Ricketts family that might be enough. I'm sure other names (Bob Melvin, Bob Brenley, Bobby Valentine, etc) will be brought up as well, but the smart money here is that Sandberg will get the job because he has name and face recognition, and the brand is as important as anything in Wrigley.
- I did make it to Wrigley to see Dave Matthews Band two weeks ago. The last two shows of the last summer tour (ever?) were filled front to back, and again I was fortunate to be at the show. I know that there are quite a few people out there who don't have any use for DMB, but for my money it's one of the best shows out there. If only I was independently wealthy I'd get to Charlottesville to see their final two shows of the fall season, as I'm sure they will blow it out.
- Finally, goodbye to Rick Sanchez, former CNN "journalist" and world class tool. Everybody, the lesson, as always, is this: in this day and age you can't say anything even remotely inflammatory without expecting to lose your job for it. At least Rick will always be in our hearts for this magical moment (skip to the 1:10 mark for the good stuff):
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